Being Proactive While Waiting

Due to the forgetting-our-monthsary brouhaha last week, I've decided to be proactive about things again. Since Saturday, I'm trying to shake off my being-in-denial phase. I'm perfectly aware that it's already the last week of September--pinagalitan ko na nga talaga ang sarili ko dahil heller naman, end of September na eh in denial pa rin ako. At na-realize ko lang na kung tuloy-tuloy ang pagdi-deny ko ay baka naman makalimutan ko na malapit na ang Pasko at hindi ako maging ready para sa gift giving during Christmas.

So this is what Chris and I planned to do while waiting for his visa (of course dapat kasama si husband, alangan namang ako lang hehehe):

Work on our Thank You Cards and send them before Christmas. The etiquette of giving out the TY Cards should be a month after the wedding. Obviously, we're very late, but then we do have a valid reason. Ang gusto ko kasi ganito, when we give out the TY Cards, we'll include a photo of us HERE in Sydney and our new home address IN Sydney is stated there. Sort of like telling our beloved guests that we have settled down in Sydney, that they can send snail mails to us via our home address. O diba, ang ganda sana ng idea ko? BUT it's not happening coz with or without THAT photo, I'm really gonna send out the TY Cards already coz my cousins' vacationing in the Phils this November and they're gonna bring it with them. My mom will be the one to send the TY cards to our wedding guests in Phils. As for my idea, it won't be put to waste, we still plan to do that but we just don't know when.

Work on choosing the photos for the wedding album and songs for the video. Yes, until now, our photographer/videographer team is still waiting for us to submit the photos we like for the wedding album. Target date of doing this is really October (assuming Chris is already here in Sydney) but again, we're still not together so we have to do this thing apart. It would've been fun doing this together. I've asked Chris to take charge on this one since he's the artist between the two us.

Since the start of September, I never questioned God on why we haven't been approved yet. Asking God "why?" is something I can't do because he has been so good to us. Sa totoo lang, minsan nahihiya na akong humingi sa kanya kasi feeling ko ang dami na nyang blessings sa amin. I know there is a reason why this is taking awhile and I know it is something good. Instead of asking why, my question has always been "Is there anything else you need for us to do before you let us be together?" Everyday, that is my question. I try to be very sensitive of signs lately because He might be telling me (us) something that we need to do first before seeing each other.

So far, based on our schedule, these TY Cards and the photos and video are the things we need to do. I realized we need to this now because when we're together and settling down into our home, we'd be very busy and it might be harder to find time to do this post wedding activities. Other than these things, there's nothing much I can think of that we should do while waiting. If there is anything more that needs to be done, I'm sure God will lead us to it.

With October coming in and with things to accomplish at hand, a new hope arises in me--I'm feeling much better compared to what I was feeling the last four weeks. As long as there are tasks to accomplish, I really come to life, I feel more alive. No more denial stage for me. I'm back to reality now!

Results of Being In Denial

We forgot to greet each other on our monthsary this September!!!! Tsk tsk tsk...very bad.

When I woke up last Saturday morning and look at the date on my computer, it read September 22, 2007, and I said "Wow, it's the 22nd day of the month again, in four months, it'll be my birthday again". Then all of sudden I remembered, "Shit! Monthsary namin last Thursday!"

When hubby and I talked that night, I told him, "Uy, may kasalanan tayo....we forgot our monthsary." He was shocked as I was. He immediately apologized and I did too. We were apologizing at each other and at the same time we were apologizing to the date itself (gets?).

Honestly, monthsarries were never a big thing to us, but we just like honoring OUR day by greeting each other. Sometimes, we give each other a greeting card, sometimes we don't. There's no hard rules. Basta greeting lang, happy na kami.

Anyway, I totally understand why we forgot.

In my case, I was (and I still am a bit) in denial that it's already September. Until now, I still haven't fully accepted that our plans did not materialize. Based on our timeline, we visualized that we'd be together for his birthday already---and that he'd even celebrate his birthday HERE in Sydney. Ganun ang plano. BUT (the biggest BUT of all) we haven't received his visa approval yet :( We never thought the application would take this long. By the end of August, super duper in denial talaga ako, na parang ayoko mag-Spring season, na ayokong mag-September muna. I really wanted us to be together for his birthday. Sa totoo lang, sa sobrang in denial ko, muntik ko pang makalimutang makapag-send ng birthday card sa kanya. Ayan tuloy, late na nyang na-receive. Kalokohan ko kasi. Lutang talaga ang utak ko. So basically, sa pagdi-deny ko, parang iniraos ko lang ang birthday nya. The message I wrote for his birthday here in my blog was one of the most painful blog entries I've ever written. I was crying while writing that. Celebrating Chris' birthday was a struggle for me that's why i forgot the monthsary, and Chris knows this.

As for Chris' side of the story, he forgot because of his birthday and he really has tons of work right now which i truly understand. Plus, I know he also thinks about his visa approval alot coz we're really disappointed that our plans are getting delayed.

Eto pa pala, Chris called me on Thursday morning (which was the day of the monthsary) just to say hello and good morning to me. One of his habits is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night for no reason(it's called "naalimpungatan"), he'd call me. We were able to talk BUT we didn't have any idea what date it was. We really can't believe it. Technically, we talked on our monthsary but we really forgot to greet each other.

Hayyy buhay...hope it never happens again.

Get To Know Me More! (Tagged by Trinity)

I was tagged by Trinity and since I have a very busy week ahead, I answered this today so as not to forget.

Question 1:
What were you doing 10 years ago?

September 1997, I was in my Senior year in College at St. Paul’s QC. At this point, I was getting ready to graduate—I’ve passed my thesis already, I’m done with two On-the-job trainings (one in a school set-up and the other in a corporate set-up), I was getting ready for my 3rd on-the-job training at a rehabilitation clinic in QC, I’m done with my graduation pictorial and I was hanging out more with my friends since graduation was looming ahead. I was also into this guy that I had this mutual understanding thingy (more of like malabong usapan I reckon) that went on for like the next three years. Obviously, nothing came out of it.

1st Photo: My Grad Pic; 2nd Photo: (L-R) Teng, Hilda, Mrs. Delariarte, Ibyang, Badet)

Question 2:
What were you doing a year ago?

I was busy and preoccupied with wedding, honeymoon and going-back-to-the-Phils preparations. My thoughts were all about getting things organized for what's to happen in the coming months.

I was still unsure of alot of things last year and I was still trying to understand what the hell was I doing in Sydney. There were times when my reasons for living here were very clear in my heart and mind, then one moment, I'd forget all my resolves just because I kept missing my family and friends and my old life in the Phils.

Question 3:
What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
1. Café Americano and Cheesecake
2. Shawarma
3. Banana Q
4. Fishballs
5. Goto with Tokwa’t Baboy

Question 4:
What are 5 songs you know the lyrics to?
1. Crazy for You (Madonna)
2. Cry (Mandy Moore)
3. Your Love (Jim Brickman)
4. Part of Your World (from the movie “The Little Mermaid”)
5. Power of Two (Indigo Girls)

Question 5:
5 things you would do if you were a millionaire
1. Own a house and a car
2. Start a business
3. Invest, invest and invest
4. Travel around Europe & Asia
5. Give a part of it to an NGO I support in the Philippines

Question 6:
Bad habits
1. Procastinating
2. Forgetting things
3. Bad temper
4. Impulsive
5. Unpredictable

Question 7:
5 things that you like to do:
1. Spending time with loved ones
2. Reading
3. Blogging
4. Capture Photographs
5. Drink coffee with Chris

Question 8:
5 favorite toys:
1. My Computer
2. Our beloved cameras
3. Leggo
4. Coloring books
5. My Badminton Racket

Question 9:
5 things you would never wear:
1. Cheap lingerie
2. Fake shoes
3. Fake perfumes
4. Any neon-colored outfit
5. Bubble skirts

Question 10:
5 things you hate to do:
1. Waste other people’s time
2. Think negative thoughts
3. Get attached to superficial things
4. Wait for things to happen
5. Be angry

When Was The Last Time You've Been To A Library?

I really can't remember...I think the last time I visited a library was probably during my college years.

Today, I unexpectedly went to a library in Blacktown. I was hanging out with my Tita and cousins and they needed to drop by the library to return and borrow books again for schoolwork. Since I didn't have any agenda for myself today, I went with them.

As soon as I'm inside the library, I felt really at home. And then I went on instant "reminiscing mode":

1.) That I was a student librarian when I was in Grade School. Other than my love for reading books, love ko ding mag-serve sa library check-in and check-out counter, mag-welcome and goodbye sa mga estudyante na pumapasok at lumalabas ng library at mag-arrange ng books according to the Dewey Decimal System. Ayan, now you know how much of a geek I am.

2.) Na kahit lunch time ay nagdu-duty ako sa library, kahit hindi na ako maka-tsika sa mga barkada ko, okay lang.

3.) In school, the library is my refuge. If you can't find me in the cafeteria, laboratory or tambayan area, you'd definitely find me in the library. Even if there's no research work or assignment due, I'd still go there and bury myself with tons of books that interests me.

4.) I can stay for hours and hours in the library, I don't even have to eat. Just leave me there and I'll be fine. I'll just leave when it's time for me to go home.

5.) That one time I felt asleep buried under tons of Psychology books due to the comfort of the cool aircon inside the St. Paul's Library. And I was probably very very exhausted from thesis and Experimental Psych work.

6.) That I sometimes start and end my day at the library. Before going to class and before going home, I'm there.

Nowadays, my library is the internet. But sometimes it feels good to be surrounded by hundreds of books and be able to read some of them once in a while. More often than not, I just like going back to basics.

This is me on a Saturday morning, inside the library! (Do I really have to have a photo taken inside the library??? hehehe. The geek in me says "Yes!")

The book that I just had to borrow