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Monday, August 6, 2007

To The Moon & Back

I feel as if I haven’t blogged in a long while. I’ve been busy, I’ve been inspired, I’ve been hurt, I went into some sort of self-retreat for a short while, and now I’m back, slowly getting inspired again.

I’ve Been Busy
Work is getting demanding day after day (it’s getting hard for me to blog at work hehehe), kumbaga sa isang tourist spot, peak season sa training ngayon. Everyone seems to want to be trained, trainers seem to be getting sick (probably because of the cold cold weather), everyone seems to be busy with their own dramas. Okay lang, this is nothing compared to my previous work in the Phils. Mas marami pa akong problema noon sa work kesa ngayon. So it’s all good. At least, when I look at the time, I now get shocked and say “Wow! 3 o’clock na! 1 more hour to go and I’m outta here.” (My work is only from 8:00am to 4:00om).

Saturday, I went to Ikea and DFO with my relatives. I finally bought cutleries. Yay! We can eat now. Our dining set is complete—plates, bowls, mugs, serving plates, drinking glasses and cutleries. I also bought some kitchen knick knacks like tea towels, strainer and chopping boards. After dinner the same day, I told Chris about my trip and expressed the concepts I want for our future home. He somehow agreed to my ideas but then we’ll see what happens when we do have a house.

I’ve Been Inspired

Other than blogging and watching koreanovelas that I borrow from my cuzins, what really eats up my time is my passion for photography and travel nowadays.

I’ve been studying options of what cameras I need/want to buy. At the moment, I’ve got three options and it’s taking me so long to decide. I’m not rushing myself though but I’m really looking for answers in terms of what to buy because it’s no joke having photography as a hobby. It’s very costly so I need to make a smart choice about this. And firstly, I need to decide what medium of photography I want to study—that is if I’m really going to get myself into it. *Sigh*. Hindi pa talaga ako sure.

I’ve been studying places we plan to go to. So far, we’ve managed to somehow finalize a travel plan for this year and the next. I’ve been researching thru the net, studying maps, reading information from forums, reading travel books in bookstores while also keeping watch of our travel fund.

Sometimes my eyes get hurt from all these studying and researching. But it’s fun. I get to learn. I feel like I’m still in school doing an assignment, but this time, it’s an assignment about life, of things that interests me and places I want to learn about.

I’ve Been Hurt and Went Into Self-Retreat
Friday night, somebody told me something negative about my interest for photography. It hurt me because the words came from a person I idolize and respect, his comments mean a lot to me so when I heard him equate my interest in photography to something negative about me, I can’t help but cry. Nalito tuloy ako. Bigla ko tuloy nasabi na baka nga hindi ako meant for photography. Tsaka bakit ganun? Being a trainer myself, it was never in my character to trample on other people’s dreams. As a trainer, I believe that learning and training develops people into better individuals. For someone close to me to say that my interest would result to me being a less better individual, it hurt a lot. Why does some people focus on the negative instead of the positive it will bring to a person?

Back to photography, I admit that I’m really having doubts on whether to pursue this hobby to the point that I will buy my own camera. When I heard him say those words, it made me doubt myself more. You see, I was never an art person…my interests before were music, dance and sports. Photography is really something different and this is something I’m unsure of until now. Another reason why I’m thinking so hard if I will pursue this hobby, is that I want to make sure I’m doing this because I want it, I love it and not because it’s my husband’s interest. I want to feel a real sense of fulfillment when I see my photographs and not because I just want to please my husband. You know what I mean?

With what had happened last Friday night, my interest in photography waned, ni ayoko munang humawak ng camera and I didn’t want to open photography sites. I was supposed to update my notes on photography over the weekend but I didn’t. I let myself and my mind rest.

Sunday morning, I saw Stephen Covey’s book called “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” when I opened my eyes (it’s near the bed, it just so happened that when I woke up, yun ang unang nakita ng mata ko) and I was reminded of the concept of being proactive. The negative words I heard last Friday, I decided I will use it as a challenge. Instead of being emotional about it, I’ll accept what he said and use it a means to better myself. Anyway, the reason why I am studying photography is because I want to develop myself. We’ll see if what my idol predicted will come true. The whole day of Sunday, I thought about it carefully on whether to continue learning photography. And I’ve decided that I have a chance. I choose to have a chance on this so I will do it. At the end of the day, at least I tried and I can say that I was able to rise above those negative comments that I heard.

Slowly Getting Inspired Again

Drama’s over. With the help of my beloved, I’m slowly getting my interest in photography back. And now I’m back online and blogging after two days of staying away from the computer. I have forgiven. I’m fine. I’m better now. I’m back!