I woke up on that Sunday morning with tears. I wasn't really feeling dramatic or emotional (goodness, I was literally still in bed and it was only 8am) but I had tears falling from my eyes. It was one of those moments when you know the heart and mind agree at one point. It was a very raw emotion...and I knew that even if my heart was not aching that much, the mind knows that that day was supposed to be spent with my beloved.
My immediate thoughts was to stay in bed, wallow, mope and never to come out of bed the whole day. But I prayed for strength---strength that will carry me thru the day and thru the whole of my birthday week. In a few minutes, I felt a little courage surge thru my veins. "Kaya ko 'to", I heard myself say. I decided to face my day and week head on. I'm not a desperate wife after all. So even if the husband is not here, I had to celebrate. Not only for the sake of Us, but mostly for the sake of Me.
What I did that day was simple. I cooked spaghetti for the family I'm living with and went to church in the afternoon. I cooked because celebrations are meant to be shared and knowing that I offered my humble spaghetti to my beloved (in celebration of our anniversary) gave me simple comfort and joy. At least, whatever pain I felt that morning I was able to channel it to something positive [and delicious :) ].
That night, we just talked over the phone and exchanged anniversary greetings. It wasn't the most romantic conversation in the whole world as we had to discuss a very important issue concerning his coming here. Nevertheless, being there for each other was good enough. We are still very grateful for the past year even if we weren't together the whole time.
And then I ended my day with prayer once again, with higher hopes that our greatest wish would finally come true on our 2nd year together.