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Monday, September 24, 2007

Results of Being In Denial

We forgot to greet each other on our monthsary this September!!!! Tsk tsk tsk...very bad.

When I woke up last Saturday morning and look at the date on my computer, it read September 22, 2007, and I said "Wow, it's the 22nd day of the month again, in four months, it'll be my birthday again". Then all of sudden I remembered, "Shit! Monthsary namin last Thursday!"

When hubby and I talked that night, I told him, "Uy, may kasalanan tayo....we forgot our monthsary." He was shocked as I was. He immediately apologized and I did too. We were apologizing at each other and at the same time we were apologizing to the date itself (gets?).

Honestly, monthsarries were never a big thing to us, but we just like honoring OUR day by greeting each other. Sometimes, we give each other a greeting card, sometimes we don't. There's no hard rules. Basta greeting lang, happy na kami.

Anyway, I totally understand why we forgot.

In my case, I was (and I still am a bit) in denial that it's already September. Until now, I still haven't fully accepted that our plans did not materialize. Based on our timeline, we visualized that we'd be together for his birthday already---and that he'd even celebrate his birthday HERE in Sydney. Ganun ang plano. BUT (the biggest BUT of all) we haven't received his visa approval yet :( We never thought the application would take this long. By the end of August, super duper in denial talaga ako, na parang ayoko mag-Spring season, na ayokong mag-September muna. I really wanted us to be together for his birthday. Sa totoo lang, sa sobrang in denial ko, muntik ko pang makalimutang makapag-send ng birthday card sa kanya. Ayan tuloy, late na nyang na-receive. Kalokohan ko kasi. Lutang talaga ang utak ko. So basically, sa pagdi-deny ko, parang iniraos ko lang ang birthday nya. The message I wrote for his birthday here in my blog was one of the most painful blog entries I've ever written. I was crying while writing that. Celebrating Chris' birthday was a struggle for me that's why i forgot the monthsary, and Chris knows this.

As for Chris' side of the story, he forgot because of his birthday and he really has tons of work right now which i truly understand. Plus, I know he also thinks about his visa approval alot coz we're really disappointed that our plans are getting delayed.

Eto pa pala, Chris called me on Thursday morning (which was the day of the monthsary) just to say hello and good morning to me. One of his habits is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night for no reason(it's called "naalimpungatan"), he'd call me. We were able to talk BUT we didn't have any idea what date it was. We really can't believe it. Technically, we talked on our monthsary but we really forgot to greet each other.

Hayyy buhay...hope it never happens again.